Thursday

Been kinda quiet today. I guess I am coming down from my "high" of being with Master. I did a little shopping, made chili and homemade bread. Then I deep fried some corn tortilla strips to go with the chili.

I also talked to Heidi today. She is still having trouble with her hubby.... what an ass. I am so afraid that he is going to hurt her. She needs to get out.

I find myself wondering around the house sort of in a daze. I have edged twice today. Thats all very pleasurable but when I get to the point that I want to cum, I just cant. I have no idea why, I mean I get right THERE and then NOTHING. Worries me a little, I have never NOT been able to cum.

The weekend

amazing

bliss

cold

dazzling

edging

fucking

going down

harness

Ice

jagged

kaya (her name was mentioned)

love

masturbation

naughty

opened cunt

pleasure

quiet

rope

submission

tied up

uncontrollable

vagina

wet

x-rated for sure

yearning (for more)

zippers...... maybe next time

I love you Master

In TWO DAYS

we will be together

i will be on my knees

i will be bound with your rope

i will be kissed with your flogger

i will submit my body to you for your use

i will submit my whole self to you; mind, heart, body and soul

You will be towering over me

You will be fastening me in a way that you can use me properly

You will pour yourself into bringing me pain with your flogger

You will dominate me in every way there is to dominate a dirty wet slut

And i will float away into a sea of sensation

i love you Master

What is my personal submission

Define your personal submission. Tell us what submission means to you and how your perfect submissive life would be like if there were no obstacles in the way.

I see my personal submission as

Obeying my Master's orders

Trusting him to know what I need

Trusting him to know the difference in what I need and what I want

Being open to trying new things.

Learning about who I am.

Learning about how to properly serve.

Learning how to let go of myself and just trust him to guide me

In a perfect world I would be a 24/7 submissive to my Master, however that isnt possible at this moment in time.

I would do lots of things for him if possible, he would never have to worry about a clean house, doing laundry, cooking (but I know he loves to cook). I would be available for his every need or want anytime, any place.

Written by: neil diamond

She was morning
And I was night time
I one day woke up
To find her lying
Beside my bed
I softly said
Come take me

For Ive been lonely
In need of someone
As though Id done
Someone wrong somewhere
I dont know where
Come lately

You are the sun
I am the moon
You are the words
I am the tune
Play me

Song she sang to me
Song she brang to me
Words that rang in me
Rhyme that sprang from me
Warmed the night
And what was right
Became me

You are the sun
I am the moon
You are the words
I am the tune
Play me

And so it was
That I came to travel
Upon the road
That was thorned and narrow
Another place
Another grace
Would save me

You are the sun
I am the moon
You are the words
I am the tune
Play me

Friday..... I love when school starts!

I have had a great day. I began my morning talking with Master on the phone. That always helps my day get off on the right foot.

I called at 9.... i was lying in bed, still in my nightgown. MMMMMMM.... as I listened to his voice I started to get wet.... hell I always get wet! Our plans to play this morning had to be postponed until tonight. But that didnt stop him from teasing the hell out of me. Taunting me.... talking dirty, telling me what a dirty wet slut I am. In no time, I had my fingers playing along my clit. OMG... I was slick, swollen, it has been too long since we have played. On and on he went, talking about fucking me, my ass (which he will claim very soon) my cunt, my slut mouth. Its all for him. I would do anything for him...... anything.

I slid two fingers inside me and began fucking my cunt with them. He had me take them out and taste myself.... OH GOD.... I wanted to cum... I was told I wasnt going to be able to orgasm until late tonight. I slid my fingers back in and began rubbing my clit with my other hand. I know he could sense where I was, that I was on the brink of orgasm. And at the last second...... he pulled me b ack..... DAMN HIM!....... I was really hoping he was gonna let me cum. I slowed...... and then he kept talking. Things he is going to do to me in September..... (I hope I finally get the fist) and I went back to work..... rubbing, fucking....moaning, rocking back and forth... oh so close... FUCK. I could feel myself starting to spasm.......and yet again...... he pulled me back..... ordered me not to cum..... not even forcefully..... just .... "dont cum, slut" and my body immediately cools and the orgasm falls away.

Damn him...... he left me horny all day... and now...... I have to go edge!

The Week from HELL!

Sorry I have been lax as to writing my blog. When last you visited dws, I was ranting over PUB and his assinine ways. Things escalated.... it wasnt pretty, and well... its been the week from HELL.

I guess I have learned a few things along the way though. Even though I am submissive, I am NOT submissive to PUB. I dont know, I guess I just want a big strong man to take care of things for me, stupid huh? Anyway, the events of this week have really put me on the road to making some tough decisions. I have waffled back and forth on what to do and well, dammit...... this just isnt a good relationship anymore. I am tired of the stupid games the OH SO vanilla husband of mine plays and I have decided to take steps to get out of it.. or get him out. No concrete plan as of yet, but emotionally I have begun distancing myself . I thank you Master for your love, support and understanding in all this. I love you.

Now, onto a few other things. PUB has gone back to school today!(YAY ME) One step closer to getting my house back. Now I have all the time I want on the laptop! and NO tv and peace and quiet.

A little bummed that my morning playdate with Master had to be cancelled due to some scheduling changes. but we can talk this morning, I just cant get wrapped in rope. Oh well, I have all day to think and imagine and fantasize about the wicked things that will happen tonight.

HE HE HE!

One new thing added to our fun this week..... and about the ONLY thing that went as expected was the lovely messages that Master has been leaving me on my cell phone. OH MY GOD! To hear that voice, the deep rich voice that takes me into my subspace, encouraging me, saying wild wicked violent things to me, demanding me to give him my orgasm! WOW....... Two nights in a row I waited patiently as he called and left voicemails. Two nights in a row I waited til PUB was asleep and got my messages..... two nights in a row I gave my Master my orgasm without any physical stimulation whatsoever. AMAZING!

Okay..... yesterday I did something that was maybe not so smart. BUT OMG it was exciting. As I was coming home from work, I pulled over to the side of the road and called my voicemail. I shut my eyes and let his voice fill my ears and take control of my mind and body. I had a hugely intense no touch orgasm on the side of the road. I hope nobody noticed my car rockin!LOL

I love you Master

what was I thinking

Today has been one of "those" days. The kind of day when you question every decision you have ever made. I got up early..... nothing new there, but PUB also got up early so I had no time to just get woke up and get my day started. I guess I was grumpy from the beginning. My neck is stiff and sore and I knew I had a lot to do today.

Cara came to pick my DD up for babysitting and she called me from her cell and informed me I had a flat tire on the front of my Escape. Now, I knew the tires needed replacing, but funds just havent been available to spend 500 bucks on tires. So I had THAT to deal with. I was supposed to be at my Aunt's house at noon to help with my Grandmother this afternoon. I asked PUB about the tire and he said he would go get the air tank sometime today and inflate the tire and check it out and we would have to figure out how to pay for new tires.

So I hop in the truck, running late and guess what......... NO GAS!.... its his fucking truck!!!!!!wtf

Already late, had to stop and put gas in the truck and speed up the road. I then spent 5 hours moving my grandmother in and out of stores and Dr offices, loading and unloading wheelchair at each stop. My ass was dragging by the time I got home.

I pulled up in the yard, no grass cut.. tire still flat... UGH. I come in......he is sitting at the computer..... he has done NOTHING. Absofuckinglutely NOTHING. So i ask him, what are we gonna do about the flat tire...... He BLEW UP at me. So i went to the bill box...... figured a way I could buy new tires. I made dinner... got ready to go get tires at walmart and DD comes in and says..... Dad told me to go with you....... Son of a Bitch made us go to walmart ALONE in the evening in State Fair traffic with a tire that only had about 10lbs of air in it.......I stopped at 2 gas stations and put air in the tire.

What the fuck do I even have a husband for?

Sorry to Rant.....